Well...this is new.

Um.

I'm heading to Tulsa tomorrow. I feel really sad.

I would have to say that today is the first time that I've followed my dream, and my calling anywhere and absolutely dreaded it.

I mean, always when I've left home it's just been for the summer, just for a few weeks, just for a month, but this time it seems more permanent. More official.

Maybe my mom's emotional state since graduation has affected me more than I realize. But seriously--I'm only going to be gone for a week and a half, then I'll be back for like a whole week or two. It's not that big of a deal.

I guess really what is bugging me is the sense of unpreparedness.

I mean, I'm heading to Tulsa and I won't have a paying job until September.

Which means I need to start looking for a job.

I am living with friends for a bit--but I need an apartment.

Which is a little added stress because if I'm going to be gone for a month or even just 2 weeks in July, I will be unable to afford rent for that month

...so do I just wait until August to get an apartment?

Where will I live until then? Will I find a job soon? Will my car start giving me trouble again or will it be okay? Will I be able to find a nice-ish apartment in my budget? Will my projected budget be enough to live off of?


Ugh. The "real world" is a scary place. :-/